College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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