sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
