This girl is more easily done than said...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
