just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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