have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
and you fell through a lawn chair
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
