**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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