It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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