I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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