Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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