my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
