Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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