I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
