remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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