I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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