Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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