I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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