I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
