Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
