HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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