.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
