you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
