I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
