he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
