Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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