Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
