No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
