Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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