I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
