i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
