i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
