Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
How naked do you want me to be?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
