I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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