I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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