just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You did what with his pubic hair?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
