dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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