I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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