Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
