im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
