I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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