u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
