I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
