i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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