I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
