i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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