You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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