ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
