love makes seman taste better
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
