I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
