it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
