The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
