I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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