Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
